Hanahn Korman, former assistant and teacher at the Dormant Brain Research and Development Laboratory during the 1970's under the tutelage of brain lab director T.D.A. Lingo, took a United Airlines flight to Denver, Colorado on Friday, Sept. 5. With her on the plane was a glass tube containing a dried yellow wildflower from the lab grounds and more importantly, the partial cremated ash remains of the late director which she intended to sprinkle in memorial on the research facility property during her return visit this week.
Upon her arrival at her downtown hotel, Ms. Korman discovered she had apparently left the ashes on the plane, and now, T.D. Lingo is missing.... or at least continuing to circle, destinations unknown, the continent. It is also conceivable that another passenger has unwittingly mistaken the tube for a decorative condiment-seasoning container, the contents to be sprinkled on the evening's airline entrée.
If you have seen the highly carbonized brain researcher or a suspicious looking pepper shaker, please contact this organization immediately. Thank you for your cooperation----- and please, hold the salt.
-Neil Slade